I am Chunking More Change Than a Blue-Hair on Nickle Slot Night

Okay. My rant. Are you used to this yet?


I have sweated. I have lifted. I have measured out 6 oz. portions of chicken breast so often that I can tell the butcher at the grocery store how to handle his business. I've done my fasted cardio and my training sessions. I have posed and I have stretched. I have cooked and I have packed. Ate my tuna and ate my tilapia. Gagged over the red bell peppers and looked forward to my daily peach which seems so long ago. What I haven't done seems to wrap it all up...






I haven't married a rich husband or become an investment banker to pay for me to actually get my ass on stage.

Gosh! This crap is so expensive! You think it might just be entry fees and the suit but read the fine print, ladies. There are hidden fees. I feel like a bride with an unruly wedding planner who has full access to my debit card only it is me doing the damage. Put the plastic away, Brandi. Nobody cares if your $18 emerald green eye liner matches your $650 blinged-out posing suit if your ass still jiggles when you walk, right?

You think this would settle me? Yeah. Okay. Logic works really well with a card-depleted, frantic harpy like myself. Nice try, moron.

Seriously, though. There are the necessities: Hotel. Registration fees. Gas to get to the city of said contest. The TAN. This product called Bikini Bite which is basically booty glue and sticks your suit to your butt. Nice. What happens after the show? Huh? Didn't see anything on the label about that. Am I stuck wearing my suit for the next three to four weeks? Is there a 1-800 number on the back in tiny print I am not seeing or something?

Anyways, it all adds up. Expensive! I have chunked more change in the last week than my grandma spends at the nickle slot night in Reno and believe me, it ain't pretty to watch.

Oh, well. No big deal. I'll manage. I just will not pay the electric bill this month. I will buy my $50 bottle of foundation that I will only use once or twice per year and come home to eat my tuna by candlelight. Besides, it will make my $3.00 plastic trophy that I win look that much better with shadows dancing all around it.

 

This pretty much sums it up ;)

I love this...

"Beware of the little expenses; a small leak will sink a great ship." ~ Benjamin Franklin