"Why Yes! I Would Just Love to Be Your Designated Driver!"

Okay. Let me paint a lil' picture for you...


My diet at the moment is tough, but not yet awful. Six meals a day with lots of protein, carbs early in the day, and ALL CLEAN.


Training is going well. I see some changes happening to my upper body and the four-times-per-week fasting cardio will start to pay off in tightening up my lower body. ALL GOOD.


My mood, for the most part, is pretty normal and the evening carb cravings are not turning me into a maniacal shrew. Yet.


So...all is well. On track. Great. Except...




MY SOCIAL LIFE IS STARTING TO SUCK.

I am at the time in my life when, being unattached and without spawn, I am often invited to social gatherings which will certainly involve:

1. Staying out until 2am or later which really conflicts with my 11pm bedtime. Yes. On weekends.

2. Drinks. Drinks of the kind which have no nutritional value whatsoever. These also have an affect on my willpower at 8am the next day when I should be on the treadmill.

3. Fatty foods, carby foods, greasy foods, sweet foods, and everything besides the bland, whole foods that I consume every three hours like clockwork.

Now, don't get me wrong. I could adapt a little so that I am not at home reading a book or surfing t-nation.com on a Saturday night. With my cat, of course. My Six Pack Bag is pink but I just don't know if carrying my meals around in it goes with a little black dress and "check me out!" heels. When everyone orders that first round of martinis and long-neck bottles, I could whip out my shaker bottle and "pour a cold one" so as not to make my friends roll their eyes at me in disgust. When the managers of my company go to float the river this June, I can pack my cooler full of Muscle Milk and almonds and I am sure no one will think I look like a complete jackass.

Yet...I will be in a bikini and by then, the results of my hard work will be evident. Maybe the beer-guzzling college girls at the river that day will think, "hmmm. Maybe I won't have another tallboy".

Who knows?

What is certain is that I will be the hottest designated driver in town. It will take all the self-discipline that I can muster but I will still do my best to be social and attend events when I can. When I am not working out. Or sleeping. Or grumpy from dieting. Or...

Crap.

Let me get back to you on this, kay? Let me judge the reactions of my friends when I launch the chips and salsa off the table at the local Mexican restaurant or when I ask for a Vodka/water on the rocks, hold the Vodka. Let's see if my co-workers still want me around when we float the river and I am swimming laps beside them in their tubes. Crazy much? YES! I have to be. This is a crazy sport that requires crazy dedication and crazy sacrifice and I want it crazy bad!

Maybe, I just need crazy friends. How 'bout it, Jules? Wanna go hit the town tonight in the highest heels we have (to work those calves, naturally) and ask bartenders if the cranberry mixer is sugar-free without maltodextrin and additives?